(Still reflecting upon Saturday night) My waiting in the pub was over, no more time to calm my nerves with yet more alcohol, because he was here. The bruises on my arms, and the bite on my lip that wouldn't quite heal, ached as though his presence reminded me of what he was capable off. I picked up my things and left with him.

In spite of my fear I felt the usual thrill of excitement that I always felt in his company. He oozed masculinity, and his dominance was overpowering. The rules of the game had changed, he was in charge. I kidded myself that it hadn't always been that way. Icy prickles crept down my spine as he smiled. He knew.

He drove us to his apartment, it was flash in a bachelor pad kind of way. Very modern, minimal design. He was a man or creature, who loved his gadgets. It screamed of money and taste. But there were no personal items of his past. No photographs or mementos. It spoke of a place to hang out, to be comfortable, but it didn't speak of a home.

I stood there taking it all in, playing for time. "well I am here, you got me here with threats, what do you want?" I had had enough, he had me wrung out and worn down. I didn't know why he was so angry, and to be honest I didn't really care.

He said, "so cold, your words. But we both know you aren't cold, you wanted me to do this, as much as I wanted you here"  his answer spoken to me seductively. His moods were like quick-silver, fluid, ever changing with a rapidity that confused me. First anger, now this he seemed charming almost teasing.

Was it just a ploy to get me to sleep with him? I looked at him, said the words in my mind I knew he was listening. I could feel the faint touch of him in my mind, and I was learning to put blocks there. But just as I built them, he knocked them back down. We had no need for words. But strangely enough I could hear part of his thoughts too. He took my handbag from me, A mad thought- was he after my money? he laughed and said "what money?"

"So it's sex, lets get it over with, and then I can go home"  I preferred words and so I spoke. His telepathy freaked me out. He just ignored me and opened my bag. Was he a closet transvestite I wondered! The thought madly out of place. He ignored my thoughts as unworthy of his time, and took my phone out, and switched it off. "No disruptions. Try to use it, and I will wipe it empty, before I drain your mind." His threat was real.

I was nervous, he was taking his time. I noticed he had some wine and so I asked him for a glass. he hesitated, then poured me one. I gulped it down, and looked at the bottle. I would end up an alcoholic if I stayed around him, that's if I lived long enough! crazy thoughts filled my mind, anything to push the inevitable away. He didn't oblige me, "It's no good getting drunk" He said as he left the bottle where it was.

"Then bloody tell me what the hell is happening here?" The wine and vodka had given me courage and I pounced on this new found confidence, or stupidity, I'm not sure which!

                                                 *******************

I was brought back to the present of Monday Morning, back to my home and the mess I was now in. By a blinding, violent sharp pain in my head. I couldn't tell how or who had caused it, but the computer I was typing on crashed. The electricity in my home blacked out as I crumpled to the floor in a dead faint...

Monday- I write this in reflection of what happened at the weekend. I think it was inevitable that I would end up caught in the maelstrom of my own making. I become distracted as I reflect on the weekend, yes I survived it. But I am indeed changed beyond belief. But I am getting ahead of myself and thinking of the present, when I am meant to tell of the very recent past. So I will take myself back to Saturday and hope that by releasing the words of the events, that I can put the pieces of it back together.

I loved my weekends, Saturday was for fun times, Sunday for chilling out. The weekend was also our time-my husband and I, we rarely went out separately and so the lies began! By courting this forbidden, excitement I now had to pay for it. I didn't know if I would be returning home- ever,  the realisation made me look at my life with eyes, wide open for the first time in years. Many regrets and un-realised dreams filled my thoughts as I prepared for the night.

There was no doubt that I would meet Alexander, I had seen the darkness in his soul. And knew that he would come and drag me from my home, destroying anyone who tried to stop him. I was afraid, so very afraid both for myself and for my husband. I had tasted the depth of his jealousy, as he had tasted my essence from my blood. The violence for those minutes he held me in the corridor, had seemed to be all of him. I wondered then as I do now, was I about to die? Now I waited for his message in my local pub, one drink-that turned into two- for dutch courage. I enjoyed the fiery, bland taste of vodka, hoping it would numb me to what was about to happen...

I wasn't taking any chances, I ordered a taxi to take me home from work. I didn't receive any more texts etc, nor did scary voices pop into my head. It was with relief that I thought I had silenced him. Maybe the painkillers did it, so I took some more just in case. Maybe it kept him from hot-wiring my brain. So here I was all ready and good to go. My husband was coming too, we were having a good spell and he was being very attentive, just as a husband should be.

The night out was terrific, I hadn't enjoyed myself in such a long time. I drank copious amounts of red wine,  ate disgustingly, fattening food. Listened to a fantastic, live band playing music that made me want to move. I danced my feet off. I enjoyed the company I was with and forgot all about the stresses of knowing Alexander. The night was over, I was tipsy I knew my limit and I had reached it.

I told my husband I would go to the ladies before we went home. The walls seemed to move with me, I was unsteady, and knew later I would regret drinking so much wine. On my way back, I felt my arm grabbed from behind. I was pushed into the wall and before I even realised who it was, I felt his lips on mine. His kiss was hard, his teeth biting my lip, it was brutal. He let me go, I felt blood on my mouth, and it wasn't just mine. His eyes, dead eyes, black and lifeless. His face was ugly in its rage. He held me or I think I would have fallen. Someone walked past us, they just assumed we were having a crafty smooch.

I saw one of the women from work walk past us, I struggled to pull away from him. Embarrassed and worried about what she would say. She looked at me with a knowing smile, and walked on by. He put his hand to my mouth, it came away smeared with blood. He whispered in my head "We are joined now, you belong to me."  I felt sober, I pushed him away but his hand grabbed my face again. Fingers digging in, it hurt and I feared him and feared my husband coming to see where I was.

" Ok, you can go for now, go to him. But tomorrow we will have that talk." He let me go, then gently though I flinched he wiped my lip, the blood on his finger- he tasted. His eyes never left mine. I barely spoke, I didn't answer his threat and shaken I walked away from him, not looking back. The last words I heard were, "if you don't meet me, I will come for you!"

I heard my name called, it was my colleague, "you lucky cow, he is gorgeous. But playing it a bit dangerous aren't you, in the corridor and your hubby in the other room" I laughed and said "I know, I don't know what came over me"

"Too much vino, if you ask me" she carried on talking but I had no idea what she said. My husband met me on my way in, " Taxi's on it's way, are you alright?" his concern was the worse thing. Walking out I leant heavily on him. The thought in my head amid the fear was I hadn't arranged anywhere to meet. Alexander was listening even then, he told me we didn't need a meeting place, that he would find me!

Trying to talk to my husband and shut Alexander out was too much. I threw up in the kerb, my husband held my hair and handed me his handkerchief. He helped me into the taxi, thinking me drunk. Back home I said I was going straight to bed. He left me and stayed up to watch some TV. I looked in the mirror, I looked awful. Bruises would appear on my arms and so I put pajamas on to hide the angry red marks. They matched the twin beads of blood on my lip.

Surprisingly I fell into a deep and dreamless sleep. I would face tomorrow when it came.

Friday- I was in thrall of him, but I wished he had just stayed away from me. He was making my life so complicated. I didn't know what he was, was he a vampire? Myth made reality? Was I going insane for even questioning this?

They don't exist, then what is he? He definitely has some kind of powers, but he appeared in daylight and he drank coffee! I should have asked him to look into my compact mirror, that would have cleared things up completely! At first he was fun, mysterious and I was down. But now life was fun, I just wanted him gone from my life.

Tonight was the works night out and I intended enjoying myself. As the bus took me into town and I was about to start work, my mobile rang. It was an un-recognised number so I just switched it off. It rang again, I switched my mobile off completely and put it back in my bag. I was beginning to have that sinking feeling, but I brushed it away and walked in to work.

When I switched my phone on at lunch time, I had numerous messages and voice mail. All from my vampire friend. A part of me thought, if you are so good at this mind bending stuff, why did you need to phone! Petty I know and I can say, I was shaken when his voice popped into my head, so shocked in fact that I spilt my tea all over the table. I felt my head explode with pain, taking two strong painkillers seemed to drown him out. But I was left with an impression of rage and hurt in my mind.

He wasn't backing off, but I wasn't letting him spoil this night, I had looked forward to it for so long...to be continued.

Thursday-My library books were overdue again and I had taken them back, the amount of money I paid in fines, I sometimes wondered why I didn't just buy the books. So there I was in my local library, my arms filled with books, and filled with anticipation and excitement that only a virgin book can bring to a bookworm. Tonight I had 2 brand new books by my favourite authors. While I am searching bookshelves in a library, a war could rage around me and I wouldn't notice. But today I felt a sensation that I was being watched, I turned around and dropped my books.

Quick as lightening he was there. He picked them up, checking the titles "so you like history and horror?" He acted as though we had known each other for years. Familiarity he managed with a smooth confidence, while I was a nervous wreck.

"Yes" I couldn't think of anything else to say.

He asked me if I had finished looking. My concentration was blown, so there was no point looking for any more. "yes, I've finished" I answered him.

As though I had lost the ability to speak and act of my own free will, I followed him to the counter. It was a little awkward the staff knew me and my husband, so it was with curious glances they took the books from him and the library card from me. They were stamped and packed in my bag in near silence. The assistant usually chatted away to me and I could tell she was curious, but she remained professional. I didn't see the bewildered look on her face as she forgot what she had been doing, and I didn't know she went home early complaining of a terrible headache.

I followed him, my home was an easy walk away but I followed him to his car. "We need to talk" His words were inside my head again, though I answered verbally, "Yes we do" though my mind said no we don't. I just wanted to go home.

It was dark as he drove through the streets, "You still have questions to ask, and then we can.." he left the rest unsaid. I was fascinated and scared of him in equal parts, but that didn't explain why I had gone with him. First I had feared his disappearing, now I was beginning to fear his appearance in my life. Though fascination overcame the fear of anything he could do to me. My resistance had seeped away the moment I had turned around and seen him in the library. Even the diet-coke man wouldn't have been able to work his charms just now.

The scent of him, his personality, the thing that he was, worked its way into me and I felt myself falling all over again. My phone rang, a warning? I will never know but it was my husband. It brought me crashing back down to earth. His hold snapped and without a word he sighed, changed direction and drove me home.

He leaned across me, opened the car door and said " our talk can be done another time, but it does need to be done" It was said with an undertone of threat. His words clipped and harsh, his rage controlled. "Yes of course, and thanks for the lift" I acted as though I was on auto-pilot, and my parting words were said with deep regret- and yet heart felt relief.

Monday- Most people hated Monday's but lately I didn't mind them. Work wasn't as bad, and data-entry wasn't as boring as it usually seemed. Maybe it's because of the flutter I was feeling every time I had to photocopy something. I always seemed to bump into the same fella. It was harmless flirtation and it made me feel good, and gave me something to look forward to. You could say he was my very own diet-coke man!

Ok I realise I am beginning to sound like I am man mad, but I am not, honestly it's just like admiring the wallpaper. You look; you like, you hate, or maybe you pass by and don't notice it- but you don't want it in your house. Tell me a person that doesn't and I would say that they are liars or blind. Anyway back to my day. Everyone was looking forward to the night out, strange really but people usually hated them. But this time it was at an exclusive place in town, drinking, food, cabaret and dancing and it wasn't even xmas yet. We couldn't wait. I doubt anyone was getting much work done and it was only Monday.

I tried not to think of my vampire friend or should I say lunatic but occasionally he was there in my mind. If he had just been a normal guy, we would probably have had an affair, let it burn out and be moved on now. But the thought of something is sometimes more dangerous than its reality. Now I thought of what could have been-wistfully, instead of what was.

Hm was that the time? lunch time and look at that pile of photocopying that needed doing! I had better get it done I thought with that secret twinkle in  my eye. Blue eyes now replaced brown, fair hair instead of dark. I asked my colleague if she wanted a diet-coke while I was out of the office, she looked at me as if i was mad. Smiling I picked the papers up and walked down the corridor to the room that housed the photocopier...

Saturday-I was sat drinking a latte in the cafe-bar, having a change from my usual tea. I had been shopping, spent too much but I felt good and couldn't wait to get home and go through my purchases. It's a ritual many women will recognize. I had a new dress for next Friday night, it was a work's do and I had to have the perfect dress, I wanted to look drop-dead gorgeous.

In the light of a new day, I now doubted that my vamp friend was a killer. Honestly how could he be...I had got a bit carried away with it all, my imagination lapping up the mystery and danger. But now he was fading from my thoughts, and I think I had found someone else to ogle over. He was well known, and I doubt I was the only woman fantasizing about him. In fact he was sure to be there, regular as clockwork, every Thursday night on TV. Safe as houses, no danger at all. And that's the way I intended to play it from now on.

Typical isn't it just as I was back on the straight and narrow, who should come and sit at the table beside me? It wasn't hard to guess, but a pair of brown eyes stared straight into mine. He seemed to take delight in surprising me. He raised his cup of coffee and slowly drank from it. I just stared at him, couldn't take my eyes from him. I didn't know what to do.

For goodness sake it was daytime! Bright sunshine outside, cold but sunny and very, very light. Didn't vampires disappear in a puff of smoky ash in daylight? And how could he be drinking? I doubt the cafe served fresh blood. He smiled at me, of course he knew what I was thinking. I closed my mind down, I was not going there this time. Sat there in daylight I realised he was just a normal bloke, a good-looking one admitted but normal. Not a vampire or a murderer. Just a normal bloke...

Feeling like a change from obsession and creatures of the night, I decided to write about murder in a different way. Like my poor feet!.

I went for a long walk to the Lagoons, there are two. Its quite a walk through houses etc, but then when you get there it's worth it. They are very scenic. There is quite a park with it too, and a bike bit for the kids. Not many walkers there, but some fishermen had set up base there. Deciding to cut the walk around the second lagoon off, we as you do took a wrong turn and ended up in a series of fishing farms! Looking at the fields we could have crossed, we wondered for a mere moment. It is a protected marsh region in places and though the fields looked solid, they are deceptive.

It was a good job the longer way home was taken, those fields were indeed filled with huge puddles. My foot, the one that I keep tearing the tendons in it, screamed a bit when I got in. But that's the only murder that was committed today, and it definitely wasn't in my imagination.

My day should begin with how fascinating and interesting my life is, and how wonderfully happy I am. But who am I kidding, he still hasn't appeared and I miss him.

Was this his game- to make me miss him before I had even begun to know him. I kid myself that I am better off not getting to know him, I had heard of Goth fanatics but he took the prize for getting into your thing a tad too much.

I walked home from work, I now had my metro pass so the excuse of being skint didn't work, I may as well be walking home with a huge sign that read- Vamp, where are you! But no I told myself that exercise was the reason. But with each step I took, the truth was I hoped he would come to me again. I crave him, he is my drug.

That night as I watched TV with my husband, my usual disinterest in the news was absent, I was riveted to the television as I heard about the spate of killings that had suddenly begun. They didn't give any details, but my instinct told me it was more than a co-incidence.

When I went to my shared bed that night, I was the supposed stereo-typical British woman in that I lay back and thought of England. I was usually enthusiastic, but my mind was on dark eyes and I couldn't wait for it to be over. I blamed my lack of enthusiasm on my hangover from yesterday, then kissed him before turning away from him.

As I lay there sleepless, I whispered to the night "I miss you." Somewhere in another house a creature of the night sank his teeth into another victim. He heard the words, though quietly whispered- he heard them and his savagery erupted as he tore the woman he held apart.

I face the world today with eyes closed. I cannot take anything in, nor do I want to see what lies beneath the facade of living. I have not come to terms with what happened yesterday and I seriously doubt what I was told.

I am bewildered as to what his game was, is! my mind is playing tricks with me. It brings him into my present, when all I want is for him to be in my past.

I doubt myself, in that I allowed myself to taken in so easily. Could I be anymore stupid, I believed he was dark and that he had some form of telepathy. But now I have to accept that he was just simply a trickster. A vampire! one day it would make a good story to tell, but for now I was unable to see beyond hurt.

I have not seen him today and I do not look for him...

Tuesday- Tonight I went to a church-choir event, a fundraiser for something I forget what. The hymns were nice and I enjoyed singing along-ok it was hardly a night of wild frolics but I had promised my friend I would go with her. I think she had her eye on someone, I only hoped it wasn't the priest!

It was inevitable he would be there. I was annoyed at him for leaving me before, with tantalizing secrets half told, so I pretended to ignore him. The man had no shame, he turned to look at me with a huge grin etched all over his face. Then he turned forward and carried on singing with gusto.

I had smiled and made small talk, with people I barely knew until my jaw ached. His presence however loomed vast in my mind, everywhere I turned he seemed to be just beyond me. Gradually people began to leave, my friend was on her way to the pub with her new-found mate. She asked me along, but I knew three was a crowd. I shook hands with the priest, and I then I was outside.

He was standing by the gravestones, it was dark and eerie. I walked towards him, found that I couldn't not take those steps-there was nothing supernatural about it. He took my arm and led me down towards the larger gravestones. We walked among mausoleum creations, gaudy crosses and huge hovering angels. I shivered and it was not just from the cold or the dark.

I leaned against him, he felt familiar. He told me his name was Alexander, he knew mine. He put his arms around me and held me close though it wasn't sexual.  "So why the graveyard, and what is your secret?" My words seemed loud in the claustrophobic, dampness in this place of the dead. His heart beat fast or was it mine. For a long time he was silent as though he was working out what to say.

Did I feel afraid? yes but in a dangerously, thrilling way. It wasn't the dead I feared though but the living. And how did I know he wasn't a psychopath? My heart said he was just a philanderer, but my head told me he was something much darker. But my feet had begun the walk on this journey of his and I was hooked.

"I am not like any other man you have ever met." You can say that again, I thought. But I waited for him to finish. He seemed to be having difficulty finding the words. It was unlike him. But I wasn't going anywhere until he had told me,I needed answers.

He pulled me down beside him, saying "you had better sit down."

The ground was damp and it felt blasphemous that we sat on a grave. I think I had got under his skin as much as he was under mine.

"I am a vampire. And the graveyard was here. " Was all he said.

I was torn between laughing out loud and making a joke, or running away as fast as I could.

All I could think of to say was "Oh that must be difficult." A stupid remark I knew, but then I had no idea what he expected me to say.

He said "You don't have to say anything, just believe"

Damn it he had done it again. This time I knew I hadn't spoken out loud. It was terrifying, but what he said he was, it couldn't be true, he was mad he had to be. I stood up, another nutter- I thought the words and knew he knew. It was time for me to leave, I left him there but felt his presence the whole way home.

So that was the night I found out I had met a vampire. First Impressions, he was gorgeous, charismatic, telepathic but totally insane.

Monday- A new week and I had forgotten all about the freaky experience in the cafe. Life moved on and different events pushed the memory of it away. I was back talking to my partner. He had made some serious attempts to get back in my good books. I had made him sweat a bit, but now we were nearly back to normal.

Money was short so I walked home, soon it would be pay day and I knew exactly what I was going to treat myself with. Yes a metro-bus pass! So that I wouldn't be walking home in the freezing cold anymore.

"Little red riding hood, beware the big, bad wolf"

Christ! I nearly jumped out of my skin. He was laughing when all I wanted to do was kill him. He was just as I remembered him. Disarmingly good-looking- what could I do but join in laughing with him, after all I was wearing a red coat. It was infectious this good humour that he managed to bring with him. We laughed and talked as he walked me home and not once did I feel threatened. It actually felt a bit like the days when I was courted, reminded me of when I was young. I didn't want to get home, but eventually my street came into view. Where did this sinking feeling come from?

He stopped me, I thought he was going to kiss me, right there on my street. But he moved past my lips towards my ear. I could feel his warm, breath against the soft skin of my neck. His words whispered seductively " We are going on a journey that will change your life. But first I have a secret to tell you."

I waited, time seemed to stop as we both stood there, I forgot I was standing at the end of my road and my husband could appear at any time. I was struck dumb, couldn't think of anything to say.

He smiled and said "next time will do" He touched me, taking a leaf from my hair and then he was gone.

My hand moved to my hair, I called after him "What is your name?" But the empty street was silent.

Thursday- So guess what filled my mind today? Not difficult is it... Dark eyes, handsome looks, a certain spooky man, with telepathic powers . I couldn't get him out of my head. But work soon took my mind off him,  it was an awful day again and I was heading for the sack. If I didn't need the cash I would have walked out long ago. Still as I walked past the cafe-bar I couldn't help but look to see if he was in. He wasn't and so I began to walk home. 

A running commentary ran through my mind as I walked and by the time I had got home, I had convinced myself that he had voiced his words, or how else had I heard him? That's it I thought, I was just bowled over by his good looks. Typical I told myself, something out of the ordinary happens and what do I do- I run... My last thought before I greeted my empty house was, I should have stayed!

********* 

It was the end of the day, the only words spoken were said to hurt, on both our parts. Small wonder I dreamed of someone else, someone unfamiliar and exciting. I was unable to sleep, I was too wound up. Standing now in my tiny garden, smoking a stolen cigarette. I realised that my good intentions to stop had lasted as long as our last truce, I wondered sometimes if he picked rows with me on purpose, to wind me up. I was getting paranoid, wondering if he wanted a way out...

I was waiting for something to happen, wishing it, my imagination working overtime with thoughts of romance and danger.  Pulling my coat tighter around me, knowing it was the only heat I would get tonight. My husband was still sleeping in the spare bedroom, stubborn fool. I had tried but he hadn't accepted my olive branch, next time I would break it over his head! It was hard to even remember what we had rowed about, god- I hated him sometimes.

My breath misted before me as I whispered to the sky "come on then, make my dreams come true." Nothing happened, but then deep down I hadn't expected it to. I threw the stub of the cigarette into his precious pond, knowing tomorrow I would hear about it. But for now I didn't care.

It was freezing now and I realised I was turning to ice, I was physically shivering and so I went back to my lonely bed.Wondering if I would ever see those dark eyes again.

I was distracted from my memoirs with my vampire. I had nearly forgot that the new series Californication starts tonight.

It's a long time since I last ogled David Duchovny but I think tonight I will be making up for lost time. It's a lot different I suspect from X files. No grey men and abductions!   The adverts for it have been driving me mad, and I dare say lots of other women too, and those gayly inclined.

Never has the thought of fruit seemed so tempting, so I can say this is really part of my diet. Wonder what I'd look like in red? But tonight while I am watching, it has to be a flake. Two treats in one night ;)

The link for the program is : http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0904208/photogallery

Wednesday- The evening seemed to fall quickly tonight, it made me realise that summer was long gone and another year was nearly over. It was October but I could already feel the chill of winter on its way, soon it would be too cold to walk home. For now I made the most of it and kidded myself it was doing some good, in this battle against the curse of middle-age spread.

Putting off the walk ahead of me, I sat in a cafe-bar drinking tea. It was ironic that they specialised in any kind of coffee that you could imagine, yet here I was sipping tea. It had been an awful day at work and I couldn't face an equally awful night at home, so in reality it wasn't the walk I was avoiding, it was the thought of going home I couldn't face. I had rowed with my husband and both of us were too pig-headed to back down and so the atmosphere was terrible. Maybe I would make the first move and say sorry, but first I would enjoy my tea.

One cup wasn't enough though, and so I went and got another. Coming back from the counter I realised someone was sat at my table. No! I thought- but damned if I'm moving and so I sat down. He didn't speak and I pretended to read my magazine.

I was unable to concentrate on my magazine, and was feeling strangely relaxed. I found my eyes were drawn to his, embarrassed that he had caught me sneaking a look, I looked down and pretended to read again. But I was thinking of dark eyes, set amid strikingly, handsome features. Yes he was nice, mm more than nice...Damn- if only dreams came true I thought to myself.

He leaned towards me, compelled I found myself leaning towards him. He said "They do."

I quickly pulled back. I wondered had I said my thoughts out loud! This was too freaky. I pushed my chair back, leaving my unfinished tea, and my magazine I left. It was on the bus home that I realised, I was supposed to be walking, but more importantly- his lips hadn't moved when he spoke to me...

Thoughts of all things supernatural are still in my mind. I know no one will believe that I have met a vampire, but I know and perhaps I will share my story with you :)

I wonder how many of us have actually met supernatural beings, and never realised it. Some have had tea with witches, and danced with ghouls, limbo-ed with zombies and partied with ghosts . It is a secret underworld that is as far removed from normality, than you can ever begin to imagine. When you embrace them as friends, you learn to walk on the wild-side, for I know some of them are far from angelic.  And just what does angelic mean-when Lucifer himself once wore that name!

I have been fortunate that I have never come to any grief, with my other-worldly friends. I have had near scrapes, but sensibility usually rears its boring head. My friend the vampire walked away from me, he couldn't bear living in my life, but me never living in his. I have often wondered how it would have been, if only I had taken that step...