I like Beth's comment to-Times they are a changing. She has the right idea, looks like it's time for some fun! Ok so I have forgotten what exactly is classed as fun, and I think I desperately need more people who are a bad influence in my life :)

Spontaneity is a big part of fun, but curiosity got me thinking... 

Hmm my list below isn't that long. So further advice will be greatly appreciated.

1. Seems to be- do what you want, when you want- be selfish and sod anyone else!
2. Be happy doing all of the above.
3. Experience new things.
4. Love, laugh and live for the moment, the future will still be there no matter what. And probably quicker than you realise.

More of Love and Longing

Sometimes the words of others can say just what I can't. Hard to believe this was wrote so long ago, yet the meaning is still as current now, as it would have been then. (More for my poetry collection)

From Amores: The Triumph of Love
Who is it that can tell me why my bed seems so hard
And why the bedclothes will not stay upon it?
Wherefore has this night-and oh, how long it was-
dragged on, bringing no sleep to my eyes?
Why are my weary limbs visited with restlessness and pain?
If it were Love that had come to make me suffer,
Surely i should know it.
Or stay, what if he comes, without a word of warning,
To wound me with his cruel arts?
Yes tis he! His slender arrows have pierced my heart,
And fell Love holds it like a conquered land.
Shall i yield me to him? Or shall i strive against him,
And so add fuel to this sudden flame?
Well, I will yield; burdens willingly borne do lighter weigh.
OVID43BC-AD18)

It has been a while since I pondered on the thoughts of love. Too much deep thinking of other things, but today I find my mind drifts towards love and of being in love. Two entirely different things, but both with a wealth of emotion and feelings.

I think today of being in love, how overwhelming it is. It is with you every minute of every day. It rises and falls, but never goes away. To know the feeling is as important to you, as it is to me, that it is equal in its measure.

But it doesn't take away the pain of longing when that love is there, but just out of reach. I cannot think of anything that is wrote about more than love. Yet it still remains difficult to sum it up in its entirety. Perhaps because it is in essence a thing of fluidity, even though it seems solid at times.

BY DAY mine eyes, by night my soul desires thee, Weary, I lie alone.

Once in a dream it seemed thou wert beside me;

O far beyond all dreams, if thou wouldst come!

MS of Beauvais (9th or 10th century) Translated by Helen Waddell

3 Simple lines, yet it reveals feelings of longing- painful, aching, heartbreaking.

Isn't it just the most blissful feeling in the world- to LOVE ... To have and to hold it close. Only then, once you have known that feeling, can you know how it is to feel true longing.

I deliberated as to whether to post this. But it seems I need to wear specs when reading. Now I wonder why that sent me into a complete state of depression etc, could be because the optician said, oh it's just a wear and tear thing, an age thing!

She mentioned that blasphemous subject, getting old! Ok I have no problem aging, facially-wise it's kind of improving. Bodily well, things hang lower, but that's no problem, just hoike everything up higher :)

But the realisation that age can do things, like make your eyes not work as well, or your gums recede( a whole other story lol) or your bones just ache a bit more. Those things of wear and tear...

I guess I've hid the grey hair, hallelujah for casting! a hair dye not a role I'm applying for...

Ok back to me and my specs, yes I need them, only if the print is small,but still- I now have two pairs of glasses in my bag. Which made me think, I love wearing sun-glasses, so why so modest and embarrassed at reading specs?

The cam came out, to try and take a pic of me and after taking 500 and still not finding one. And when I did,  would I be brave enough to put it on here ? oh well here goes...

I have been catching up on my history, both on TV and books. On TV I just watched the tape of The Last Days of the Raj. I had heard of the partition of India and Pakistan, but didn't know the background to it. Nor the part that Mountbatten played in it. I am not sure how biased the program was towards the British Lord, it seemed to say he was fair, but that he left too early.

I was not sure how it could have been done. But savagery, death and rage shouldn't have been the answer. Politics and religion baffles me. I wonder why we can't all just get along. So many people died, or were hurt and still mourn the loss of family and loved ones. When the program finished I wanted to know what happened afterwards, how it was settled, if it was.

I still think religion should be a peaceful thing, not the cause of so much death, power and corruption. But talking of religion, I move onto Christianity...

I must admit I couldn't put down The Borgia Bride  by Jeanne Kalogridis. http://www.book-club.co.nz/books05/theborgiabride.htm

I remember the series long ago on TV about the Borgias, the corrupt pope. And his papal court.

This book is about Sancha, an illegitimate daughter of King Alfonso II of Naples. Who is forced into marriage, to Pope Alexander VI's son Jofre. Yes I said son. It is amazing how it was tolerated that he had a mistress, and any woman who took his fancy,  and fathered children. But then the court of the Borgias, pope or not, had more power than even the kings who ruled.

I loved it because, I simply could not wait to find out what happened next. A page turner from beginning to end.